The last week has been such an emotional week....the most emotional part of this journey this far.
It is so hard not to paint this perfect picture in your head as to how this journey will play out. Expectations are made without even realizing it. In the moment that something does not go as I imagined it, it becomes very difficult to digest.
In my last post I mentioned my fears in regards to sharing the pregnancy test results with Shahar and Roi. Knowing my body and how I was feeling, I had no doubt that I was pregnant and I wanted to share the news when the results came back from ORM and make it "perfect." Perfect was an unrealistic expectation. As excited as I was for them, they were bracing themselves for bad news, just as they had received 15 times before. They have experienced an unimaginable amount of heartache and every time they would get excited, something would bad would happen.
On Monday, I was not able to share the news with Shahar and Roi. I tried to call and I got no answer. Shahar was afraid to hear the news. It is so important for me to share this journey with them. For me, that is the difference between this being their pregnancy and this being my pregnancy.
I shared my feelings via text with Shahar and she shared hers with me. It was so wonderful to be able to be there for each other...put ourselves in each other's shoes. We ended up rescheduling our Skype call to Tuesday morning.
As much as I would have loved to share the news on Monday, our conversation could not have been more perfect!! Lots of tears of happiness and to see the smiles on their face as they allowed themselves to put their guard down and accept this joyous experience into their hearts was priceless. Everything happens for a reason and I am so honored to be part of their journey to happiness.
My hCG levels have more than doubled in the last 48 hours and Dr. Bankowski said we would could go without the blood test on Friday. He was very pleased with the results. We all agreed that having another test would give Shahar and Roi reassurance that everything is going well for their baby or babies! The "head count" ultrasound is scheduled for the 26th of November!!
Some changes have been made to my daily medications. They decreased the amount of Delestrogen I will take on Mondays and Fridays and the Progesterone has been cut in half but still getting that injection daily. In addition to that, I take a progesterone vaginal insert of Endometrin 3 times a day. Since I did not ovulate, my body is not producing the hormones to sustain a pregnancy. I will continue the injections and the Endometrin for the next 8 weeks. At that point the placenta takes over to keep the baby or babies baking.
All of your sticky thoughts worked and I am feeling pregnant with more intense morning sickness than with my three babes. Hoping that means there are two babies baking in there!!
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